Relationships are eternal. The ‘separation’ is another chapter in the relationship. Often, letting go of the old form of the relationship becomes a lesson in pure love much deeper than any would have learned had the couple stayed together.


How Relationship Counseling Helps

Marriage was meant to be a permanent bond between a man and a woman but unfortunately, many of us face problems in our relationship that can quickly build upon each other. That is why it may be necessary for you to engage in some type of marriage counseling at some point in your relationship. In doing so, you are not only giving yourself the opportunity to have a strong relationship with your mate but you are establishing the building blocks which will help you to get there effectively. What are some of the things that may need discussed during the counseling session?

First of all, it doesn’t matter if you are from Chicago, NYC or anywhere else in the world, all of us tend to face similar problems. Although a lot of people are going to blame it on something specific, such as money problems or intimacy issues, there is usually an underlying issue that needs to be discussed first. That is a lack of communication between a husband and a wife. It doesn’t matter what types of problems you’re currently having it can often be traced back to a lack of communication between the two of you. That is one of the things that can be built up with marriage or couples counseling and it is something that can follow you for the rest of your life to your benefit.

The timing of the counseling that is done is also of importance. For example, if you wait until the marriage is at its breaking point it, quite obviously, is going to take more work on your part in order to mend things properly. Believe it or not, many people engage in couples counseling before they are ever married. This has nothing to do with the status of their relationship, as many of those individuals are still wearing the rose colored glasses that we tend to have on when we are in that situation. They are not there to correct any issues that are wrong at the time, but they are there to establish their relationship in the way that will help them to deal with those problems as they arise.

There may also be something specific that is necessary which can be discussed between the two individuals in the relationship. One of the more difficult ones to approach for many people who are married is the subject of intimacy. All of us have different needs and it is important to make sure that we’re looking at those needs in their proper perspective. Unfortunately, we live in a world that tends to foster an unrealistic idealism when it comes to intimacy. That is where couples counseling can be effective, as they can assist you in recognizing any difficulties that do exist and seeing how they can be approached in a reasonable manner.

Regardless of the difficulties you may be facing or even if you are currently facing no difficulties at all, counseling can assist you in growing a stronger and longer lasting relationship.

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Loving Others Means Loving Yourself First

Negative self talk and negative energy affects you in more ways than one. Ever felt stuck in the rut and not knowing how to get out of it? Do you know that having negative thoughts may damage the relationships you have with your loved ones?

The purpose of this article, is to challenge you to get out of the rut, with some simple tips! How can you do so? This is through making time early in the morning when all is at peace, to pray and listen to God. You can help yourself maintain a positive frame of mind-which will help with positive self-talk-by surrounding yourself with positive energy in your life.

Try adding the following elements to your life:

1) Listen to Uplifting Messages
Listening to a fast beat music has been proven to aid you in your gym workout. Similarly, an uplifting message, can be great for developing positive self-talk! Very often, I download Chip Ingram’s podcasts the night before and listen to them on my way to work in the morning. This gives me the much needed encouraging message for the day. You are what you immerse yourself with.

2) Read Inspirational Books: Books on strength, personal power, enlightenment, or self help can be good resources to help you change your outlook and the things you say to yourself. However, do make sure that this is not a spur of the moment sprint, but rather a marathon where you persevere. These inspirational books should aid you in the direction of your goal in the long run. I am constantly uplift by reading these inspirational books, of which my favorite author is John Maxwell on leadership and goal setting.

3) Surround Yourself with Positive People: One of the most important ways you can get (and of course keep) positive energy in your life is with the company you keep. Do your friends uplift you, or bring you down? Are these people whom you call your friend accusatory, critical or uplifting and sincere? Ideal friendships provide support when you’re down, fun when you are up, provide wisdom when you are lost, and have a general positive regard. Good friends can inspire you to reach greater heights, helping you soar to the highest and reminding you of your purpose. They see your strengths and prod you along the right away. Pay attention to how your friends make you feel, and if they are less than supportive, start putting your energy and time toward people who are better suited to be your friend.

Many Singaporean women find it a challenge juggling work and life, and will seek greater opportunities which allow them to work from home. However, as you are trying to combat this stress, try developing more positive self- talks with the tips just mentioned. It is unhealthy, for people to have high strung relationships and conflicts may frequently occur if not managed. My blog is dedicated to share and encourage one another like you, to learn ways to combat stress, juggling the demands of work and living a more fulfilling life with your loved ones.

“Leave a legacy, make an impact in others!”

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7 Steps To Creating A Healthy Relationship

Everything in life, in order to be a success, requires knowledge and education to some extent. We read, study and take courses on several subjects that we as human beings require in order to live the life we choose to live. If we wish to improve on a certain area of life such as career and education we simply enroll in classes or find alternative methods that will provide us with the information we are seeking. However, we were not taught to educate ourselves on relationships-the most essential factor to living in this world. We must be able to relate to others in order to create an environment that we feel is desirable and supportive to us. Here I am providing 7 steps to having a healthy relationship. Whether you are in a current relationship or seeking one, these are key ingredients to creating and improving the relationship you desire.

1. Know What You Want

Knowing what you want is the foundation to having that which you desire. Have you ever felt like you were going around in circles not really getting anywhere? That is what happens if you do not have a destination in mind. When choosing a relationship you must think of all the things that make a relationship perfect for you. Not what is perfect for anybody else or what you think others want you to have. It must fit you and your life.

2. Being Your Authentic Self

From early on in our lives we have had to learn to play different roles in different situations. Relationships are one of them. How many times have you felt that you had to be or act a certain way in order for a relationship to be what you thought it was supposed to be? We have forgotten how to be ourselves. It is our past experiences and beliefs from the past that keep us from being who we truly are. As individuals in relationships it is our sole responsibility to see all the opportunities there are to heal ourselves and release the past so that we can continue to unfold and become authentic beings.

3. Communication

Saying what we desire, saying what we feel, expressing our deepest fears, sharing our joys and successes are all pieces to communication in relationship. Telling our loved ones what we need and lovingly working through any disagreements and differences are more than essential in a relationship. How can two people come together if they do not know what is going on in their loved one’s world? In order to be crystal clear in relationships we must learn and create a system of communication based on both partner’s needs that then becomes the middle ground where miracles take place.

4. Acceptance

Take me as I am. We love someone because of who they are. In relationships it is up to us to love our partner for who they are and where they are in life. Their lessons are not our lessons to learn. Our only responsibility is to love and accept them as they are. When we try to change someone to make them fit our mold not only are we placing them in a box we are dissociating ourselves from the relationship and ignoring our own fears and needs. Relationships are about accepting and growing at our own pace and together holding each other’s hands along the journey together.

5. Trust

If there is no trust there is no foundation. Next to Love, trust is what makes or breaks a relationship. In order to trust, we must stay completely true to ourselves and to our moral and spiritual beliefs. When we follow what we know in our hearts to be loving then we can be sure that we are giving our partner all the reason to trust us. In order to know what is true we must accept the fact that relationships are where we have the opportunities to grow, become better individuals and free ourselves from all things that are hurtful. Trusting your partner and giving trust to your partner is the greatest gift that will carry a relationship through anything.

6. Play

We have taken everything in life so seriously that we have forgotten what it means to play. We have forgotten what it feels like to let go and play like a child again. Being child-like means letting all your worries, fears, doubts and insecurities go. It means to laugh and have a good time and do things that you normally wouldn’t do. Notice a child’ s behavior. Notice their innocence. Notice their playfulness. It is that same energy that when brought into a relationship opens doors to unlimited possibilities and tons of fun.

7. Self-Love

If you do not love yourself how can you truly love another? You cannot serve from an empty tray. We have learned to believe that everyone else comes first and we come last. We have learned to believe many stories and lies that keep us stuck in the same rut. As you go through the processes of relationships you learn to discover what works and doesn’t work for you. When we can fully accept ourselves and our experiences for what they are and have been then you can really begin to love someone deeply and completely. When you choose to take full responsibility for your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health then you can truly experience blissful love.

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