The world as we knew it has ended

One month has passed since I last posted and as far as I can tell most of us are still here. There has been another terrible tragedy that rocked my world, since I have lived near Newtown, CT, just as I now live near Aurora, CO. I didn’t know any of the victims in either of these shootings, but my heart aches just the same.

Each of these incidents are more horrific than the one before. Such a loss of innocence for the elementary school children who witnessed this autrocity. As a professor of childhood development and positive psychology the mornings following terrible shootings, including those at Virginia Tech and Tuscon, AZ, Columbine and Minnesota, I face a classroom full of scared and unhappy students. As a practitioner of meditation since 1972, my unique perspective on the integration of Western psychological theory and Eastern practices helped me to calm them as we discuss several issues such attacks bring up about human nature.

In April 1999, the academic community learned something about about the effects of bullying from the students who carried out the Columbine massacre. As a result many high schools initiated programs to quell this growing trend. The VA Tech shooting in April 2007 awakened educators across the country to pay more attention to early warning signals of mental illness, and put additional safety nets in place. In January 2011, we became more aware of the harm that can be caused when a young man took his political views to the extreme in the AZ shootings that killed six and wounded U.S. Representative Gabrielle Giffords. What we as a society will learn from these two most recent violent attacks is yet to be determined. We can hardly find a place in our hearts to assimilate this level of hatred gone so out of control.

Perhaps, as a society we need to take responsibility for the violence we allow young children to witness through movies like Batman and video games that teach how to kill, such as “Angry Birds.”

A whole genre of media glorifies violent attacks by showing good overcoming evil, but unfortunately what is “good” is often in the eyes of the beholder. What is good to me, may not be what you think is good. In this era of situational ethics, groups of people define good or evil and then teach that to the next generation. As the stories around these two most recent massacres unfold, we may learn what groups influenced the actions of the young men who carried out these unbelievable crimes.

What did they endure in their childhood to plan the hurting of others in such destructive and violent ways? The Aurora shootings were the worst mass killing in US History, and now Newtown has topped that one in less than six months! And this group of victims is even younger and more vulnerable. This trend must be stopped. In the past, many of us have turned our heads and looked the other way when the questions come up, “Does violent entertainment cause violence?” or “Will gun control laws be the answer?” The usual academic argument is that billions partake in violent media and millions have permits to carry guns, yet do not go out and shoot people, so these things alone cannot be the cause.

I agree.

I alone can do nothing about the mega bucks earned by an industry that perpetuates violent media enjoyed by so many as a catharsis. However, for those of us who do not see the value in this method of relief, I offer a solution for working within our individual hearts and minds to clear the internal fear energy many of us experience after such violent attacks.

I would love to schedule a FREE Discovery Session with you to see if we are a fit to work together to ease our collective pain. Please give me a call at 303-428-0968 to schedule 30 minutes of your time with me. I look forward to serving YOU!

End of the world as we know it?

The buzz about the end of the world in Dec. 2012 reminds me of the split between mind and body. Is this a political or a metaphysical question? We never actually know what is going to happen next, no matter how much we plan and prepare.

When we take a vacation, we trace our route and say we want to be at one place on this date, and another on that date. Mostly it works, but sometimes there are unexpected turns in the road and magnificent things to see and do that were not planned. Other times mistakes are made and we have to retrace our route, or we lose “time” because we lock the keys in the car, or we sleep poorly because we picked the wrong motel.

When we go to work day after day, mostly we know what to expect and it can be exciting when something different occurs. Sometimes the phone suddenly rings and every thing we planned to do changes. Other times, it is the same ole, same old. One never knows. However, we continue to have expectations and to set our intentions about how we want something to work. If we can live in the mystery of not knowing what is around the next corner, we can always be excited and surprized by what happens. When we have expectations, we are often disappointed.

Which way would you rather live? In disappointment or surprize and excitement? I am one of those people who don’t like surprizes, but I don’t like to be disappointed either, so what is a girl to do?

I like setting my intentions and then love with my arms wide open, letting happen what ever happens and surrendering to the moment. This is not always easy, but recent health problems have left me not knowing what is going to happen next. I am learning to live in the mystery and allowing myself to be pleased with the outcome, what ever it is . This has forced me to slow down and take what comes. It is a hard lesson. My body and mind are not in agreement. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak, and other times my whole self says, “Let’s go!” Yet I don’t have an ounce of energy to follow through.

How does this work for you? And what do you think is going to happen next? I’d love your comments!

Solving your Sexual Relationships

When you’re in a long-term relationship – even a perfectly happy and stable one – it is perfectly normal to experience periods during which your sex life declines a little. Basically, this is like any other aspect of relationships, in that it can be going smoothly one day and then, for no particular reason or even without you noticing, it can decline suddenly.

If this has happened to you, there is no need to worry – again, it’s perfectly common and perfectly natural. And, furthermore, there is plenty that you can do about it! Here are a few tips for how to get your sex life back on track if you’re in a long-term relationship.
To begin – it may seem unrelated to your sex life – but put some more emphasis on exercise if you feel like your sex life is in a lull. Not only will this keep you in better shape, and therefore more sexually appealing to your partner, but it can also keep your energy level high and keep your body better prepared for physical activity. You may even want to exercise with your partner, so that the two of you can experience a different sort of physical activity together – you may be surprised at how directly this can improve your sex life.
Next, consider some experimentation in the bedroom. The best way to reinvigorate your sex life is often to try something you haven’t tried before. Sometimes you can lose interest in your partner without even realizing it simply because your sexual activity remains unchanging for a while. Trying something new can add new life to your relationship. Consider looking into new ways of having sex, or even toys and accessories from http://www.adameve.com        Find whatever works for you to create new experiences.

• Finally, and most importantly, if your relationship is experiencing a bit of a sexual lull, it may well be due to a lack of communication between you and your partner. This is one of the most important aspects of sexual relationships and you need to make sure that you maintain open and honest, and constant communication.

Letting your partner know what you do and don’t like, and how best you can please each other, is the best way toward achieving a fulfilling sexual relationship. Communication is something most couples could do better with, and it may be that it is the solution to your sexual issues.

If you are interested in some coaching and encouragement around this, contact me @ 303-428-0968. I look forward to hearing from you.

What is your mood?

Our mood carries a distinctive emotional quality in response to the environment that  . Emotions are generated by a combination of three factors: inborn temperament, developing personality, and by observing the emotions of those around us.

Eventually, we must learn to manage our “mood.”

Temperamental traits remain constant from birth through adulthood. Personality results from preferences that change over time and vary with the circumstances. Observation of others causes us to have a response, this response may cause a change in mood. Emotions result when energy moves throughout the body, in other words: Energy in motion.

Discovering how to activate and control this energy flow is one useful tool for cultivating healthy partnerships.

Learning about the limitations of temperament and the expansiveness of personality are also valuable skills for improving relationships. If you have ever had difficulty in any relationship, then a useful first step is to become aware of how previous conditioning can interfere with current communications.

Learning to let go of the judgments we made as children is a second step to improving today’s circumstances. This technique works in our everyday interactions at home or at work. Give me a call at 303-428-0968 if you are interested in learning more.

We must be in relationships if we want them or not!

Human beings are born helpless. We immediately rely on others. Our need for interaction never ends. This blog is intended to help relationships. I will offer tips for understanding how past conditioning can influence the present. Future experience is determined by knowing and changing the past. We cannot change what actually happened, but we can alter and refocus  the way we think about it.

Newborns rely on the developing senses of sight, sound, smell and taste. These senses allow us to be in touch with this new world. We need to be touched and held. Babies thrive when they are gently stroked and cuddled. We also develop our sixth sense of intuition, which allows us to detect the quality of touch. We learn trust and distrust depending on how quickly our needs are met. We unconsciously absorb information about how the caretakers feel about filling those needs. The judgments we make as newborns can cause future difficulty in relationships because something that was said or done when we were tiny children can trigger a feeling in present time that was related to the past.

As we mature, we sense the energy others emit. Emotional intelligence develops and we discern the difference between one facial expression and another. This initial sense of awareness is automatic.  At a young age, we make judgments that we carry in our thoughts throughout our lifetime. Happiness and sadness, anger and joy, register in our brain as different qualities of caring and connection. These emotions register as physical feelings. Even tiny babies express emotion by imitating the people who surround us.

Who and what surrounds us determines who we become.

Affectionate Touch

We can live our whole lives without sex, but we have a need for touch and affection.

Many think the only way to get touched is through sex. Cuddle Party provides an opportunity for safe, affectionate, nurturing interactions that may or may not include touch. People attend these part communication workshop, part social event in order to meet new people and have comfortable conversation while getting their touch needs met, if desired. Cuddle Party is held in Denver, CO and many other cities around the world. Check out meetup.com and www.cuddleparty.com for more info. You must register to attend.